Need to talk about money? Here’s how

The key to any money conversation is being clear on the what and when.

• A regular look at your finances can keep you on top of things and reveal potential talking points. For example, you might spot that your outgoings have been creeping up.
• Choose a time when you can sit down and talk things through without feeling rushed.

Not sure where to start? Viewing your transactions online can give you a really clear view of your money.

Go in knowing what your ideal outcome is, with the facts and figures ready to help you make your case.

For example, if you want to make the case for that once-in-a-lifetime holiday:

• Research costs and payment deadlines.
• Think about how you might save elsewhere for a while. Internet banking or a mobile app can help you gather useful information on your finances, and give you quick access to it during your conversation.

Don’t just say the first thing that comes to mind - consider your words. Try using ‘I statements’ instead of ‘You statements’. For example, if a family member regularly needs financial support: “I feel there may be a better way to manage money” is less confrontational than “You need to sort out your money management”. Consider your tone, too. Staying positive and friendly makes even tough talks easier.

Be clear about what you need or want. If you can’t or don’t want to spend money on something, say so. And be upfront if you think it’s best if one or both of you had a conversation with your bank.

Not all money conversations can be resolved in one go. If you’re talking about large sums  or budget changes:

• Make sure no one feels rushed into a decision.
• Give yourself time to look at your finances and consider how any changes might affect you. A budget calculator could be helpful.

Once you’ve wrapped up the conversation, make sure that everyone knows what’s been decided and what the next steps are. That will help you avoid an even more awkward conversation in the future.